Grownups. You will always be dimwitted when it comes to your own children’s propensity for deception. Silly grownups!

I did this strip for my friend Mike Holmes’ new TRUE STORY book, which collects strips from his also-named-True-Story feature in The Coast. Mike solicited strips from some fancy people including Kate Beaton, Darwyn Cooke, Faith Erin Hicks, and Joey Comeau. Oh, and me also! The book debuts TODAY, available both at comics shops and on Amazon–go run and find that thing. I think it’ll probably take a sec to work its way into American comics shops, but if you’re in Canada it may already be up in your comics shops. I have a bunch of readers in Toronto, I suggest you guys try the excellent Beguiling shop. Mike has tons of links and more info and so forth on his post.

This strip was an example of waiting til the last minute and then screwing up the size–I drew it TOO small, especially for a 3-tier grid. So if you’re thinking of buying the original, be warned that it’s tiny: my thumb for comparison:

The finale! The real loser here is my mom; that sweet lady made me matching tops and bottoms from scratch! Who does that sort of thing anymore–most of us can barely remember each others’ cell phone numbers these days. We should all be so lucky to have someone to make clothes for us per our own request. And then to still love us when we take all that effort and care and leave it sitting in the bottom drawer throughout high school. I love you Mom.

I try not to swear in my comics, I really do, I actually take great pains to avoid it. But I am realizing that no account of this part of my life–and really, most of the other parts–will be complete or truthful without a bunch of filth-flarn-filth. And probably a lot worse. I say all this just by way of apologizing to my mother, for whose sake (and by whose rearing) I try not to swear in public. But what can you do in this crazy mixed-up world? Sometimes a mother’s love–or even her handmade jams–just aren’t enough.

I’m going to have to start working bigger, I guess. Those little outdoorsy scene are killing me; the whole panel is only 2 inches wide, it’s impossible to make anything look like anything. Oh but hey–that dog looking at my sister is our then-neighbor’s dog Buffy, who my sister doted on and spent all her time with. What happened to Buffy later might be another strip one day.

Ta-Dah!! It is blowing my mind to realize that all this happened more than twenty years ago. How can it be that twenty years went by so fast? Who stole all those years from me? Where are the jams of 2009?

That pattern is pretty dead on according to my memory: light bulbs and wires and stuff. There was some other element, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. With luck future generations will forgive me for this criminal lack of verisimilitude. That goes double for the exterior of my high school.

Things this Wikipedia article taught me about JAMS: they were created on Christmas Day, 1964 by a former systems analyst turned surfer; the word was short for “pajamas.” That’s about it, truthfully–not the best Wikipedia article. This article is much more interesting, although it’s not on jams. The P-38 Lightning was the coolest of the WWII fighter planes, and a joy to draw over and over when I was a kid.

The first installment of a fabulous multi-part story about shorts named things besides “shorts.” Aside: did you know there is almost no mention online of Cugas at all? Besides very incidental mentions at best. Did I imagine Cugas? Whither Cugas???

Whew! That ended up sadder than I expected guys, sorry. But here’s an upbeat note: I still remember most of this song and repeat it to myself while standing in line at McDonald’s each time I go in. Which isn’t really very often, but still. There you go!